Kristel Bauer, corporate wellness and performance expert and author of Work-Life Tango, shares strategies for thriving and staying happy in our modern world of work. Pulling from her healthcare and business experience, she advises how to avoid burnout culture while optimizing you and your team’s performance and happiness.
The other day I was watching a professional tennis match between two incredibly talented individuals. The back and forth between the players was amazing and you could easily see how much effort and work they had put in to master each stroke and perform at a top level. That said, there were a couple of key differences between the players, which in my opinion, determined the outcome of the match. One of the players had many spectacular shots but he seemed stressed, frustrated, and it looked like he was being really hard on himself. He seemed to be feeling a huge amount of pressure, and from my perspective, he didn’t seem like he was having much fun. Now the other player also had amazing shots, but he seemed to be really enjoying himself on the court and he handled himself well when he missed. His body language and expressions made it clear that he loved the game, and he was having fun out there. He looked happy. This resulted in confident play that seemed relaxed and unrestricted, and, in the end, it resulted in a match win. While both players were incredibly talented, one had a better mindset, and it made all the difference.
In all areas of our work and life, our mindset and our internal happiness is directly linked to our performance and feelings of fulfillment. Research shows that happier leaders promote more engaged and even more productive teams. A study done in collaboration with Oxford University’s Saïd Business School even showed that workers were 13% more productive when they were happy. Happier workers worked faster and they converted more calls to sales. Happiness is connected to employee retention, corporate culture, and so much more. At the end of the day people want to work for and do business with people who are enjoying their jobs and their lives.
Throughout my personal and professional experiences, I have seen some common trends for people that are really winning big at work and in life. These are the people that are not only flourishing in their jobs, but they are also fulfilled in their relationships and the many other areas of life. They are filling their days with things that are meaningful to them, and they are having a lot of fun along the way. Now I have also noticed some common denominators for people who may be winning in one area, but they are failing in the others. Years ago, when I was working in an Integrative Psychiatry practice, I would have individuals regularly come in who on paper seemed to have it all but behind the scenes they were really struggling. They had taken a wrong turn while going after their version of success and they had neglected key areas that really contributed to their overall happiness, performance, and well-being.
We know that happiness is important, but we can’t just snap our fingers and make it happen. Research has even shown that wanting to be happy so badly and trying really hard to be happy may even have the opposite effect! This could be due to feelings of disappointment and frustration when our emotions and our realities don’t match up with our expectations or desires. We can’t force our way into happiness. So, what can we do?
We can recognize that happiness is feedback just like the many other emotions that we experience in our daily work and lives. If you are looking to have a deeper sense of happiness and fulfillment in your work/life here are four key contributors that are important:
When a setback occurs, which it will, how do you respond to it? Do you avoid feedback? Do you blame others? Are you extra hard on yourself? Do you have helpful coping skills? When you adopt a growth mindset you recognize that you are learning and growing, and you don’t expect yourself or others to be perfect. Instead, you focus on progress and making positive changes to move in the direction of your goals. You are also able to focus on the solution instead of getting stuck in the problem.
Many have fallen into the trap of thinking that they need to be incredibly hard on themselves to get results, but repetitive harsh self-talk will lead to you feeling stuck and unhappy. Embrace self-talk that empowers and motivates you. My favorite question to ask myself is “How can I view this in a way that is more empowering for me?”
Even if you don’t have a leadership title, you are a leader and you are having an impact. How you show up matters and it can positively influence the culture of your organization. The bottom line is when you are in a good place, everyone around you benefits.
This is the title of one of my most popular keynote talks, and I came up with this phrase because work and life aren’t perfect, and happiness doesn’t need to be perfect either. So, take the pressure off yourself and learn how to work with and embrace the moments you are given, imperfections and all. Be present, prioritize the things that really matter, and aim to make the moments in your work and life high quality moments.
We spend a lot of our lives waiting or thinking I’ll be happy when… I’ll be happy when this is over. I’ll be happy when I get a promotion. I’ll be happy when I go on vacation. It is time to stop waiting and it is time to start really living!
Disclaimer: This content purely represents the opinion of the author and is for informational & educational purposes only. It is not medical advice or treatment recommendations. Always talk to your healthcare provider about recommendations specific to you.
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