Celeb Shot
A Quest for Home
Former finance lawyer and former BBC World presenter Ikenna Azuike explores his difficult, but necessary quest for “home” in his latest documentary: The Afro-European.
Like many children of second-generation immigrants, my parents gave me a simple goal when I moved from Nigeria to the United Kingdom in 1987: assimilate, work harder than everybody else, and integrate. In practice, for me, that meant we didn’t speak Igbo (the principal language of southeastern Nigeria, where my father came from) at home, I wasn’t encouraged to stay in touch with family in Nigeria, and my parents made painful sacrifices to send me to (almost exclusively white) private schools they could barely afford so that I could have all the opportunities they didn’t have in their youth.
The experience was formative. I emerged outwardly successful but, inwardly lost. I had spent so much of my life as a Nigerian (and Black) imposter that I’d forgotten who I really was, what I stood for, and where I felt at home. These feelings ultimately became the driving force behind the creation of my six-part documentary series on identity, belonging, and the idea of “home” in The Afro-European.
After switching careers from banking and finance law with Shearman & Sterling LLP (now A&O Shearman) to journalism in 2008, my work quickly became a way to explore my own uncertainties about race and identity. In my satirical video blog What’s Up Africa (BBC), I was able to examine my African roots. The documentary series Planet Nigeria (BNNVARA) accelerated that process and helped me find answers to many questions I had about my father, who passed away a few years ago. Then, after the murder of George Floyd and the movement that followed, I became even more consumed by issues of racism, identity, and belonging. The Post-Racist Planet (VPRO) helped me process some of those feelings. The Afro-European is the next phase in an ongoing conversation with myself.
The Afro-European tells two stories. The first is that of African communities in Europe; what brought them to Europe, how they have made homes while ensuring their own cultures survive. The second is my own personal wrestling match with how to feel at home while living between two cultures. The advice and wisdom I got from the different people I talked to throughout the series was transformative.
By far, this series has been my most confronting, educational, and cathartic creative project. Thanks to the conversations I had in the United Kingdom and Cyprus, I now feel more at ease calling myself a Black man and more comfortable in my Nigerian identity. I now pronounce my own name correctly when introducing myself to non-Nigerians (Ike-NN-a, with a long ‘N’ instead of an Anglicized short ‘N’). I’ve become a mentor to young Black professionals. The series has helped me understand that loving and respecting my father can coexist with being my own man and making choices he might not have approved of. In short, The Afro-European has been an unforgettable, life-changing project that has made me a stronger, more resilient person.
The key to unlocking my learnings and personal growth was a willingness to embrace the discomfort of painful conversations, shameful childhood memories, and face up to my own vulnerabilities. As uncomfortable as it was, I can only recommend the experience.
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