Celeb Shot
Turning Pain into Purpose and Spreading Sunshine to Others
After losing her daughter, Penny, to a rare disease, Kate Doerge chose to transform heartbreak into purpose. Now she’s leading a nationwide movement to spread light, fund research, and inspire others to find beauty in imperfection and positivity in the face of challenge.
This is my daughter Penny.
Penny lived a BIG, bright, and beautiful life. She loved to sing as loud as she possibly could to friends, family, or even just to herself taking videos. Her favorite song was also her mantra, “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves.
Penny approached every day with laughter, dressing up. She loved to play tennis and do gymnastics. She played pranks—constantly—on her brothers, Frankie and Henry. She went to school dances and wore high heels. She adored her big circle of girlfriends. And they adored her back.
She let nothing stop her from experiencing—and spreading—light and joy. Not the cast on her leg protecting her fragile tibia for most of her life. In fact, she bedazzled it with sequins and accessorized it to match her outfits. Not the seven surgeries to remove a recurring brain tumor. She literally sang on her way into each one, taking selfies and laughing into the camera. Penny was living her best life no matter what.
After every surgery, her girlfriends would decorate her bedroom so that, when she came home, it was pretty and happy. She was just so beloved by them.
At 16, my beautiful daughter passed away. She had an incurable disease called Neurofibromatosis or NF. It’s one of the most prominent genetic conditions in the US. 1 out of every 2,000 kids has it. It causes bone abnormalities, cognitive issues, and it causes tumors to grow anywhere along nerve pathways—sometimes benign, sometimes malignant.
In the two and a half years since Penny left us, I’ve come to realize that Penny was actually luckier than many of us. In her brief 16 years on this earth, she found her purpose … and, with that purpose, created a legacy that continues to thrive today.
What do I mean by that?
I hear from girls who say they didn’t know her well in high school … that they would pass her on a path or in the hall and Penny would always look up, lock eyes with them, and smile. And they remember that because it wasn’t the norm. No matter what, they say, she would say “Hi.” Penny’s purpose was that pure. She believed the simplest act could make a lasting difference…and create a ripple of positivity.
And that’s what I want to talk to you about today: how to find your purpose…and shine your light so that, just like Penny, you too can affect people’s lives in the most wonderful and surprising ways.
During the COVID-19 summer of 2020, when camps were closed and kids were stranded for the summer, Penny and her best friend, Lily Grant, hatched a plan to help families out…and make money. They were such little entrepreneurs. They called it GLAM CAMP and launched it with about 20 5- to 8-year-old girls.
There was one hitch. Penny needed to have daily radiation treatments following her most recent brain surgery.
She wasn’t even asking questions of, “Is it going to hurt?” or “Are there side effects?” She told her doctor, “I have a commitment. I’m a counselor at the camp that starts at 11:00. We have to make this happen first thing in the morning.”
So, every day, we would go in for 7 a.m. blasts of radiation and get home in time so that she could set up, put all the snacks out, and be there to greet these kids.
The girls never even knew she was going through it. Every day had a theme: come dressed as your favorite Barbie or Disney character. They did art projects. I’d be on Zoom calls, and there would be a stream of littles walking past to go downstairs. I’d say, “Oh no, don’t mind me. That’s just my daughter’s camp.”
Penny was like a Pied Piper. They just wanted to be with her because she was so warm and loving. I’ve had so many parents who said their kids just felt so safe with her because she just felt like a warm hug all the time. She was so fun, girly, and light that these kids just gravitated toward her. It was so cute. It was just such a happy summer.
And it turns out it was her last summer.
When Penny passed, we held a celebration of her life. No one wore black. 1100 showed up. And we celebrated her. So many people told us how inspired they were by Penny. They couldn’t believe that she had been fighting for her life and yet showing up in the world with such light and kindness.
The truth was we were devastated. But we decided we had a choice: we could fall apart and lose ourselves in the sadness of her loss, or we could turn our pain into purpose, just as Penny had. Just a few days later, my husband and I woke up, looked at each other, and said we needed to do something in Penny’s name to not only honor her legacy but help others.
Our goal? About as high as it gets. Why not? To find a cure for NF, to fund research, and to inspire others to find beauty in imperfection, positivity in the face of challenge, and to live with faith over fear, just as Penny did. We called it: Penny’s Flight Foundation and took one of her favorite symbols, the butterfly.
Thinking about it now, it was more than a little crazy. We both had full-time jobs, two beautiful boys who needed our attention, and, at the same time, we were trying to come to terms with this crushing loss.
What did I learn? If you have something you want to accomplish—a goal, a club, a charity—don’t get stuck in thinking about how hard it is going to be. Because if Chad and I had seriously thought about how much blood, sweat, and tears launching a foundation would require, we might have never done it. We might have just talked ourselves out of it.
The most important takeaway: you have to go HEART FIRST into whatever your goal is right away.
And thank goodness we did—because in just two and a half years … magic has happened. Penny’s Flight has reached over 20 million people…launched and funded scientific research projects…and raised over $6 million (and rising) to find that cure. And our purpose has indeed created that ripple of positivity that I spoke about earlier. How? Here’s just one example:
At our first fundraiser, Riley McNeil, a sophomore at the University of Virginia, approached me and said she was determined to get involved. Her idea? To launch the first Penny’s Flight chapter at her school to raise funds and awareness.
Today? Riley oversees nearly 100 chapters in colleges and high schools across the country. They host all kinds of pop-up fundraising events: “Play for Penny” lacrosse games, “Pucks for Penny” hockey games, “Pedal for Penny” SoulCycle classes, “Pizza for Penny” parties, and much more.
That’s not all. Members from various chapters have written letters to their local congressman to lobby for NF funding, and a few joined me last month on Capitol Hill to voice our plea in person.
Beyond fundraising and raising awareness, Penny’s Flight chapters are dedicated to inspiring young people to follow in Penny’s footsteps: to live with positivity and shine their light by helping others–making and delivering cards to kids in hospitals, for example, or helping to feed those in need.
It doesn’t stop there. I get texts every day from people saying they are going to be nicer to their families and spread kindness in their communities. People who have never run before are running marathons. One man, Paul Lore—who never even met Penny—is rowing across the Atlantic to shine a light and raise money for NF.
One of the greatest lessons Penny taught me is this: it’s not your lifespan that matters…it’s your wingspan—what you do with your beautiful life and how it impacts others. That is what matters most.
So how do you start? Simply by thinking about something you want to change and who you want to help. In your community, in your town, in the world. That becomes your MISSION, and your mission becomes your PURPOSE and motivation.
THEN GO. Start doing it. See if it works in action. You might start small…invite someone new at the office to lunch, deliver meals to a neighbor who has lost a loved one.
Or maybe come up with a way to raise money for research for a disease someone you know is battling…
Create inspiring content on social media that spreads joy or awareness…
Volunteer in your community.
You might even launch a charity or start a foundation. We did it, and so can you.
Whatever it is…just start.
NEXT, MAKE IT BIG. Make it a goal to do that small thing every day for 15 minutes or 30 minutes or more. Make it your goal to share about it on social every week. Make it a goal to do that action over and over and over UNTIL IT MAKES AN IMPACT. Do it when you are tired, even when you’re not sure it’s working.
Just keep doing it.
Then watch.
All you need is one person to create that ripple effect…to take that positive energy and pass it on. That is the butterfly effect in action. Wings keep spreading.
The day Penny passed, I think she knew what was happening, but she wasn’t—I don’t think—scared by it.
Even in the very, very end, she never asked, “Am I going to die? What’s going to happen or how?”
She was just such a warrior to the end.
I think she wanted to protect us. I really do. And I think to a certain extent, she just knew this was part of a greater plan. I just know that.
When Penny passed, Chad and I collected Frankie and Henry, along with the dogs, and went for a long walk at one of our favorite places. We were uncharacteristically quiet. Each of us thinking about our girl. How she spread her wings to shine her beautiful light.
We got back in the car, and the radio came on. “Walking on Sunshine” was playing. Her favorite song. It just didn’t feel like a coincidence. It felt like Penny. We looked at one another and laughed out loud through our tears.
I encourage you to inspire others and keep passing it on. SPREAD YOUR WINGS AND SHINE YOUR BEAUTIFUL LIGHT.
I hope you, too, will walk on sunshine.
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